Hogwarts Rule Book
by KatieWindle
Summary: A list of things that we as students of hogwarts are not allowed to do
1. Chapter 1

**The Hogwarts Rule Book**

**25 things that we as students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry must not do.**

**We must not get up late**

**We must not wear provocative clothing **

**We must not kick Mr Norris (It will make Filch scream)**

**We must not throw objects of any kind at moaning myrtle (It causes her to flood the second floor bathroom)**

**We must not write R.I.P on the walls (It scares all the ghost)**

**We must not send Profession Snape anti oil Shampoo or Conditioner**

**We must not put hair removing potion on either Hagrid or Dumbledore (It causes them to cry when they wake up)**

**We must not form a harem**

**We must not do orgy**

**We must not go to Luna Lovegood or Lavender Brown for relationship advice because they would tell us to form a Harem or do orgy (Both in which are strictly forbidden)**

**We must not turn Snape into Darth Vader (he is very scary like that)**

**We must not put catnip in McGonagall's food**

**We must not put catnip in McGonagall's Quarters**

**We must not put catnip in McGonagall's Classroom**

**We must not give Dumbledore a Skiving Snack box disguised as a Lemon Drop (It makes him vomit on you)**

**We must not put a Skiving Snack Box is Lupins Wolfs bane Potion (It gives us a very sick Werewolf)**

**We must not upset Malfoy (because he will tell his father)**

**We must not play chess against Ron (because we will always lose)**

**We must stay away for the unknown monster (basilisk) in the chamber of secrets**

**We must not enter the chamber of secrets, it is very dangerous**

**We must not cast the imperious curse on Snape to force him to wash his hair**

**We must not hang filch in the Dungeons by his thumbs (god I would love to hear his screams)**

**We must not take off Quirrels Turban unless we wish to serve Voldemort or unless we want to die**

**We must not throw Snow balls at the back of Quirrels Turban. ( It upsets poor Voldy)**

**We must not kiss a Dementor**

**If any of these rules are broken we face either loss of house points, death or worse we could be EXPELLED**


	2. Chapter 2

**25 more things that we as students must not do.**

**1 We must not drink Polyjuice potion to make ourselves look like Dumbledore or any of the other professors.**

**2 We must not show Dumbledore the Mirror of Erised (Unless we want him to complain about not getting any Wool Socks for Christmas)**

**3 We must not set off Dungbombs in Filch's office (It makes him stink and because he will give you a bad headache)**

**4 We must not charm books to scream whenever Hermione opens them (because it makes her faint from shock)**

**5 We must not try to prank Fred or George (unless we wish to be the target of their pranks for a long time)**

**6 We must not puke in one of the Trophy's in the Trophy room (unless we wish to clean the room without magic)**

**7 We must not have an axe whenever Nearly headless Nick is nearby (It makes him hopeful that someone is finally going to cut his head right of so that he can join the headless hunt)**

**8 We must not step on any Beatles during our 4****th**** year (It might be Rita Skeeta)**

**9 We must not sneak up on Professor Moody (He might turn us into a ferret)**

**10 We must not listen to Hagrid when he says follow the spiders (It's terrible for your personal well being)**

**11 We must not give Hagrid a dragon egg for his birthday, Christmas or Easter**

**12 We must not set off fireworks while 5****th**** year students are doing there OWL tests**

**13 We must not convince 1****st**** years to fly a mop of the astronomy tower**

**14 We must not tell 1****st**** years that Snape is vampire**

**15 We must not tell 1****st**** years that Professor Umbridge eats flies for lunch**

**16 We must never tickle a sleeping dragon (I wonder how that rule came to be)**

**17 We must not give Umbridge a bag of cough drops to cure her ailment**

**18 We must not give Umbridge a love potion to force her to fall in love with Snape (what a perfect couple they would make)**

**19 We must not forget to call the Minister of magic a bloody idiot**

**20 We must never follow rule number 19 (due to risk that it could cause towards your personal health)**

**21 We must not bring a Gun (metal wand) to Hogwarts**

**22 We must not bring any of the items that are on Mr Filch's Forbidden item list**

**23 We must not dye Dumbledore's hair purple no matter how well it would go with his robes**

**24 We must not charm Percy's head boy badge to say Big Head**

**25 We must never show old voldy a picture of his muggle father**


End file.
